Unprofessional Emails

The C.H.U.C.K. System


From: Trojanowski, David
Sent: Friday, November 12, 2010 1:15 PM
To: ******, Chuck
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Chuck,

We have received payment on all invoices except the ones that are in the email that Grace sent to you. Those are the only 3 invoices that are still open. Once those are paid, we can close the books on this account. Please let me know if you show anything different.

Thanks,

Dave Trojanowski
Tel: 410.***.****
Fax: 410.***.****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: ******, Chuck
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 8:16 AM
To: Trojanowski, David
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Dave,

This morning Grace advised me that she had received the invoices and that they were in the hands of her supervisor awaiting funding approval. I believe that, at this point, they have been taken care of.

Whew! This bill paying takes more effort than having sex!

Thanks for your patience and efforts at getting things wrapped up.

Regards,

Charles (Chuck) ******
Office: 410-***-****
Fax: 410-***-****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Trojanowski, David
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 11:20 AM
To: ******, Chuck
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Chuck,

Thanks for the update and extremely bizarre reference to having sex.

Are the ladies giving you any trouble over there?

Thanks,

Dave (David) Trojanowski
Tel: 410.***.****
Fax: 410.***.****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: ******, Chuck
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 11:24 AM
To: Trojanowski, David
Subject: RE: Open invoices

ALWAYS!

In some cases it's not their fault, it's just the system that we have to work with - you know how that goes.

Regards,

Charles (Chuck) ******
Office: 410-***-****
Fax: 410-***-****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Trojanowski, David
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 12:26 PM
To: ******, Chuck
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Chuck,

Actually, I do not know how it goes and, quite frankly, I am confused with the direction that this conversation has gone. I do not know what you mean when you say that it is just the system that we have to work with...wait a second. Chuck, you son of a gun. I know exactly what you are talking about now. You have a system very much like Dennis Reynolds from the show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" don't you? Of course I am referring to The D.E.N.N.I.S. system:

Demonstrate value
Engage physically
Nurture dependence
Neglect emotionally
Inspire hope
Separate entirely

I can only assume that the C.H.U.C.K. system is:

Charm their pants off
Have intercourse
Up and leave
Change cell phone number
Keep on keepin' on

I can't see one flaw in this system, so where are you going wrong, Chuck? Is it the keep on keepin' on part? That does take a lot of effort. Plus changing your cell phone number all those times must get really annoying too. Personally, I don't own a cell phone. I use pay phones for all of my calls and do all of my texting through the mail.

Thanks,

Dave (David) Trojanowski
Tel: 410.***.****
Fax: 410.***.****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: ******, Chuck
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 12:55 PM
To: Trojanowski, David
Subject: RE: Open invoices

I have not seen that show and I can assure you that I do not have a "system."

Charles (Chuck) ******
Office: 410-***-****
Fax: 410-***-****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Trojanowski, David
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 1:34 PM
To: ******, Chuck
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Chuck,

Uh huh, sure you don't have a system. I get it (wink, wink*). I've been operating under a dual system for quite some time now. Let me know what you think of these:

The D.A.V.I.D. system is used in more formal settings (i.e. dinner parties, weddings, funerals, etc.) It breaks down like this:

Deliver a compliment
Ask questions
Verify age
Invite back to my (parents') place
Do her

The D.A.V.E. system is used in more casual settings (i.e. bars, nightclubs, dinner dance parties, etc.) It goes like this:

Dance, with purpose
Attract female
Verify age***
Eroticize

*I'm subtly implying that you do in fact have a system. Wait, this footnote takes away from the subtlety of that, doesn't it?**

**Disregard footnote.

***You can never be too careful. Just ask (latest celebrity to have been charged with statutory rape.) I can't think of any right now but I'm sure there are a few. Man, that would have been a good joke if I could have come up with someone.

Thanks,

Dave (David) Trojanowski
Tel: 410.***.****
Fax: 410.***.****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: ******, Chuck
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 1:44 PM
To: Trojanowski, David
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Wow. I think we should probably get off this topic. I guess I opened a can of worms with my first email but I simply meant that it is hard to get my wife into the bedroom after 28 years of marriage.

Charles (Chuck) ******
Office: 410-***-****
Fax: 410-***-****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Trojanowski, David
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 1:52 PM
To: ******, Chuck
Subject: RE: Open invoices

Chuck,

I've found that alcohol seems to do the trick.

Thanks,

Dave (David) Trojanowski
Tel: 410.***.****
Fax: 410.***.****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: Trojanowski, David
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 1:53 PM
To: ******, Chuck
Subject: RE: Open invoices

...not with your wife. I meant just in general.

Thanks,

Dave (David) Trojanowski
Tel: 410.***.****
Fax: 410.***.****

________________________________________________________________________________________

From: ******, Chuck
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 1:58 PM
To: Trojanowski, David
Subject: RE: Open invoices

I really hope no one is monitoring these emails.

Charles (Chuck) ******
Office: 410-***-****
Fax: 410-***-****

Share    


affiliate_link
________________________________________________________________________________________

Back To Top
HTML Comment Box is loading comments...