"This ridiculous story of yours does not settle anything..."
"Perhaps you should spend more of your time getting your facts straight instead of creating meaningless "threat levels" that you think are funny."
"My supervisor has not been born yet..."
"The only scanner that is currently working on my floor is right next to a pretty girl who I get very nervous around."
"I don't know much about yeast infections, but I would assume that he should be cleared up in a few days or so."
"We are not going to pay for your courier and his food expenses."
"She's not exactly the sharpest knife in O.J.'s drawer..."
"Please do not forward any more of her offensive emails to me."
"Please stop emailing me about this"
"Please also be aware this is a company party, not a frat house"
"My grandfather said he just wanted to get back out there and get some 'new trim' before he dies..."
"I will see if I can meet with them after my meeting with them..."
"Please do not send me your friend's mixtape"
"I'm afraid I cannot speak on the phone because I lost my voice at a Miley Cyrus concert."
"You have serious issues. Thanks for the invoices."
"I'll try to shoot this report over to you ASAP, if not sooner."
"That is the oddest email I have ever read"
"Your responses to her were extremely unprofessional and innappropriate"
"I really hope no one is monitoring these emails"
"You gotta admit, that twist at the end was good though, right?"
"I do not know why you are telling me this."
"So I wake up on Seis de Mayo..."
"So you're the guy that's been sending these ridiculous emails?"
"Despite my best efforts, there was absolutely no dot, dot, dotting."
"I suppose it could be 'very inspirational' to some fake tanned girls out there with low self-esteem"
"Nothing motivates me more than having the privlege of wearing a slightly more comfortable fabric for one day of the month..."
"At first, I loved the fast-paced, rock-n-roll lifestyle of being a bill collector."
"I too, believe that law is a calling and that I have been summoned or whatever."
"I am as serious as a sunburn about applying to ******* School of Law."
"I have 99 problems and my ex-wife is 98 of them"
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